National Domestic Violence Month

While searching on the internet this week, I learned that October is also “National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.” This information brought back some very difficult and painful memories in my own life. I was a victim of domestic violence in my first marriage.

For a long time I felt that I was to blame, that I must have been doing something that caused the abuse. I realized later that the abuse was a result of my husband feeling guilty and insecure for his own indiscretions. He felt that in order to make himself feel better, he had to bring me down to his level. And…he did keep me very afraid, insecure and feeling to blame. I truly believe he loved me, but had an illness that prevented him from being the loving husband he should have been. And, even more sadly, he never got the opportunity to become that husband, because he passed away 20 years ago.

So, when I found this information about domestic violence, I felt I had to add it to my Blog.

It’s my hope that if anyone is being victimized by abuse, whether male or female, this information will encourage that person to get help from this terrible thing.

I did a bit more research and found some great information. First of all, though, I want to say…It’s NOT your fault! No one has the right to abuse anyone else. That includes a spouse or significant other. Remember, God made you who you are and He loves you. If you have things about yourself that YOU don’t like, then it is up to you to change. No one has the right to make you change into something you’re not.

Here are a few of the statistics I found regarding domestic violence. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence provides a fact sheet on its website and the following link is live, just click on it ... http://www.ncadv.org/resources/Statistics_170.html. Here are a few of the stats. You can download the fact sheet for yourself and much more online.

Did you know?

· 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime
· 73% of domestic violence victims are female
· 37% of women treated in emergency rooms for violent injuries were hurt by a current or former partner
· 44% of women murdered by an intimate partner visited an emergency room in the two years prior to their deaths
· 73% of domestic violence incidents go unreported
· 61% of these incidents go unreported because victims “think the police won’t believe” them
· 8.8 million children witness domestic violence each year

Yes, these statistics are alarming. And, you may think that they only happen in homes where God is not a big part of their lives. This is very wrong.

Domestic violence occurs in the Christian homes as well as the secular homes. Here is a link to another website I found on Domestic Violence: http://abigails.org. This is the website of “Abigail’s: Help for Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence”. This website answers questions about domestic violence from a Christian perspective.

One of the pages asks, “What is the Christian answer to domestic violence?

Answer: Marriage is the first institution that God established between man & woman. Both men and women were created in His image; equal partners with distinctively different roles (Genesis 1:27). A man is to be the head, or authority of his household (Ephesians 5:23, 1 Peter 3:1). With this comes the responsibility of earning the respect of his family and community. Colossian 3:13 commands husbands to love their wives and never treat them harshly. For the rest of the article click this link… http://www.gotquestions.org/domestic-violence.html

Abigail’s offers Bible Studies and Lessons. This website is totally biblical and based on 1 Samuel 25, which teaches us about Abigail, a woman married to an abusive husband. Her story is only one chapter long, yet it says much about the struggle of women facing abuse at home. It can help women understand how to protect family and loved ones from abuse while maintaining Godly submission.

So, if you are a victim of domestic violence, or have a friend who is, please check out these websites. There is hope and help out there. You are special and created by God to be a Light for Him. You can’t be a Light if you are being kept down and not allowed to glow.

By the way – through God’s grace, He brought me a wonderful husband and now I’m glowing again!